Howdy. It's been forever again, but in my defense it has been an extremely crazy couple of weeks. We had to finish up school before we left, and we are going to have a crazy week next week, so all of us are pushing to finish. Sunday through Thursday, of this week, I spent 34 hours on homework; reading 800 pages, and writing 20 pages worth of papers. It was crazazy, but I am done! I am officially a Senior in College. Score!
On a sadder note, today was our last Saturday in Bangkok. Sunday through Wednesday are going to be somewhat normal, and then we will go to Cha-Am Beach for a holiday through Saturday night. On Sunday, we will go to Church, come home and pack our stuff, have a last Family Dinner, and then take everyone to the Airport. The three of us fly out 23 hours after everyone else, so we will come back and probably sleep, then head out that night. Then we'll be home the 13th!
I can't believe its almost over! On one hand, I can't wait to get home, and see family, and have Christmas, and move on to the next section of life (ie. more school). On the other hand, I do not want to leave this place. I love everything about it; and it's probably going to be one of the harder things in my life to step onto that airplane. It's going to be weird to step out of the airport and be really cold... it hasn't been below 80 here as far as I know. But it will be fun! Pray for snow!
This week I plan to catch up with journaling and stuff, so I will post more indepth stuff; for now this'll have to do :)
Saturday, December 3, 2011
Sunday, November 20, 2011
Life and Traditions
Wow. This has been an intense, but good week. I know it's been a while since I wrote last, but the last thing I've wanted to do is type anymore after homework :) But here's whats been going on.
Alan has had us lay off of the ministry since we got back from being up North so that we can catch up on our homework. We have one more paper due on Tuesday, and then the Buddhism section homework, and then we are completely done with this semester. So about 20 more pages to write, and 800 more pages to read. The end is in sight!
This week was a little bit weird; if we hadn't changed our plane tickets, we would have left on 17th, and gotten home on the 18th. So I would be home right now. For some reason, knowing this has made me really homesick over the past few days. But at the same time, I absolutely love it here, and dread the day we pack up and leave, possibly for good. Khruu and Lynette leave tomorrow to go to the States for a few weeks, so we had to say bye to them which sucked.....
When I'm not being dumb and emotional, I've been having a fantastic week, which makes leaving even harder. But at the same time, God's been getting me ready to leave emotionally. He's placed a lot of anticipation in my heart for next school year, for work, for my new living situation, and, of course, for seeing my family. So it's kind of a catch22. I guess the only way to say it is that I'm excited to go home, but not excited to leave. Guess that's life, ay?
We went to Bangkok's Chinatown on Friday, after Thai lessons. It was crazy. Tons of people, cramped streets, and lots of noise. It was a blast, but exhausting. It felt like being in the market part of Rosarito, Mexico, but I understood a lot less than I do in Mexico. Tammy and Kaitlyn got Christmas decorations for APSAI, so that we can be in the Christmas mood when we get home.
On that note; I love Christmas. We were talking about it in the car on the way home from Church today, and it made me really excited. It must be the little kid in me, but everything about Christmas makes me excited; butterflies in the stomach, huge smile, etc. I love snow. I love getting to wear clothes to keep yourself warm; jeans, leggings, flannel shirts, boots. Snow. I love Christmas lights. I love decorating the tree, and the house. Making winter food. Anticipating snow. The happiness that people typically have during holidays. Snow. The excitement of seeing family. The chance of snow. But my favorite part is the silly family traditions that come with holidays.
Like, every year at Thanksgiving, we watch the dog show, the one that's on after the Macy's Parade. It's dumb. And boring. But we watch it every year, and it's fun with everybody sitting around in a food coma, commenting on the stupidity of some of those dogs.
And at some point over Thanksgiving weekend, my Aunt makes orange biscuits and bacon; the mix should be disgusting, but it's the best breakfast you will ever eat.
On Christmas Eve, we always have a candlelight service at church. And it's always a little bit stressful (anything would be when you hand 6 year old's candles), but so much fun. It's peaceful, and amusing, and quiet... and just perfect. Even when it doesn't really seem like it's going well.
I was thinking about traditions today, and I think that the reason they make me so happy, and so excited is because of what it means. Year to year, we are not who we were. For better or for worse, we are different people by the next year. Things happen that change our worldviews, God speaks new things into our lives, and people shift; but every year, you can count on a few things, like orange biscuits.
Every year, you can do the same things you do every year, but as a new person with new perspectives.
I can't wait for Christmas!
Alan has had us lay off of the ministry since we got back from being up North so that we can catch up on our homework. We have one more paper due on Tuesday, and then the Buddhism section homework, and then we are completely done with this semester. So about 20 more pages to write, and 800 more pages to read. The end is in sight!
This week was a little bit weird; if we hadn't changed our plane tickets, we would have left on 17th, and gotten home on the 18th. So I would be home right now. For some reason, knowing this has made me really homesick over the past few days. But at the same time, I absolutely love it here, and dread the day we pack up and leave, possibly for good. Khruu and Lynette leave tomorrow to go to the States for a few weeks, so we had to say bye to them which sucked.....
When I'm not being dumb and emotional, I've been having a fantastic week, which makes leaving even harder. But at the same time, God's been getting me ready to leave emotionally. He's placed a lot of anticipation in my heart for next school year, for work, for my new living situation, and, of course, for seeing my family. So it's kind of a catch22. I guess the only way to say it is that I'm excited to go home, but not excited to leave. Guess that's life, ay?
We went to Bangkok's Chinatown on Friday, after Thai lessons. It was crazy. Tons of people, cramped streets, and lots of noise. It was a blast, but exhausting. It felt like being in the market part of Rosarito, Mexico, but I understood a lot less than I do in Mexico. Tammy and Kaitlyn got Christmas decorations for APSAI, so that we can be in the Christmas mood when we get home.
On that note; I love Christmas. We were talking about it in the car on the way home from Church today, and it made me really excited. It must be the little kid in me, but everything about Christmas makes me excited; butterflies in the stomach, huge smile, etc. I love snow. I love getting to wear clothes to keep yourself warm; jeans, leggings, flannel shirts, boots. Snow. I love Christmas lights. I love decorating the tree, and the house. Making winter food. Anticipating snow. The happiness that people typically have during holidays. Snow. The excitement of seeing family. The chance of snow. But my favorite part is the silly family traditions that come with holidays.
Like, every year at Thanksgiving, we watch the dog show, the one that's on after the Macy's Parade. It's dumb. And boring. But we watch it every year, and it's fun with everybody sitting around in a food coma, commenting on the stupidity of some of those dogs.
And at some point over Thanksgiving weekend, my Aunt makes orange biscuits and bacon; the mix should be disgusting, but it's the best breakfast you will ever eat.
On Christmas Eve, we always have a candlelight service at church. And it's always a little bit stressful (anything would be when you hand 6 year old's candles), but so much fun. It's peaceful, and amusing, and quiet... and just perfect. Even when it doesn't really seem like it's going well.
I was thinking about traditions today, and I think that the reason they make me so happy, and so excited is because of what it means. Year to year, we are not who we were. For better or for worse, we are different people by the next year. Things happen that change our worldviews, God speaks new things into our lives, and people shift; but every year, you can count on a few things, like orange biscuits.
Every year, you can do the same things you do every year, but as a new person with new perspectives.
I can't wait for Christmas!
Thursday, November 10, 2011
Thailand So Far
Caution: the worlds about to end. This is the third post in three days!
But, thank God, we changed our tickets. Even know, the thought of leaving in 32 days breaks my heart. I don't want to leave these people, the beauty and craziness of the city, or the awesome church we've had the honor to be a part of.
I was thinking though, of all the really cool thing's we've gotten to do. We've seen a huge amount of the country; on an airplane, a train, and in a car. We've gotten to go to Cambodia. We went to a FIFA World Cup Qualifier game, for $3.
If we hadn't changed our flight, we would be packing up to come home right now. We would be saying bye to all of our friends here, walking through the slums we love teaching the little kids how to say goodbye, and we'll miss them. We would be making sure we had souvenirs for everybody, and frantically trying to fit activities in that we haven't gotten to do yet.
But, thank God, we changed our tickets. Even know, the thought of leaving in 32 days breaks my heart. I don't want to leave these people, the beauty and craziness of the city, or the awesome church we've had the honor to be a part of.
I was thinking though, of all the really cool thing's we've gotten to do. We've seen a huge amount of the country; on an airplane, a train, and in a car. We've gotten to go to Cambodia. We went to a FIFA World Cup Qualifier game, for $3.
We've had the incredible honor of working with an amazing teacher, Al; who has also given us the opportunity to learn with other fantastic people: Jim, Ken, Paul and Larissa, Mark, John and Barbara, Wayne and Tammy, Deanna, Kara.
We've gotten to meet people all over Bangkok, on our Soi, on Ekkamai, in Bandan, SaamSip.
We recognize people walking around; the lady making our dinner, the guy making roti, the girl that came to English class.
We've only been here for about 3 and half months; but it feels like forever. This has been a crazy busy semester, but its been amazing. Our minds have been stretched, and pulled, and shifted as our perceptions changed; as we saw the effects of things that we'd only heard about before we came. It's been awesome.
Thank God for another 32 days.
Loy Krathong
Tonight is a festival called Loy Kratong- Festival of Light. It's celebrated in November, on the night of the full moon. It's kind of been adopted by Buddhists, and basically, this is what happens here in Thailand. They make little octagonal boats with styrofoam and banana leaves, and lotus flowers, put candles, and money and incense in them, and then send them down the river. Some people had bread baked into the shape of a turtle, or dessert type things that were shaped like flowers. Though it isn't a traditionally Buddhist thing, they believe that by sending these things down the river, they can earn merit, and escape the cycle faster.
Sorry the pictures aren't that great. It was dark, and there were tons of people there.
We went to a temple near Ekkamai, to see what was happening. There were hundreds, if not thousands of people there; big stages with people dancing and singing; decorated images to pray to; extra bowls out to drop money into.
The air was thick with smoke from the candles, and incense that people were burning to get more merit. We kept hearing the clinking of people dropping 108 coins into bowls and the ringing of bells that "please the spirits". You could buy baby turtles, eels, and catfish to re-release into the river, because by doing that, you would be freeing them, and gaining merit.
At first it was kind of exciting, because there was so much going on. And then it got really depressing. There were millions of people who placed little boats in the river tonight, all over Thailand, Laos, and Burma, who are going to bed believing that they are one step closer to escaping from the cycle of life and death.
But it's not going to help. Because there is no cycle.
That's why we're doing, what we're doing.
Wednesday, November 9, 2011
From Bangkok and Back Again
Sorry it has been awhile. The past two-ish weeks have been crazy and hectic and so much fun. But let me explain with pictures. First; our itinerary.
We started in Bangkok; to avoid flood waters, we drove South and West for about an hour, then started to head north. We drove up to Lampang, then headed farther Northwest to Chaing Rai. While we were in Chaing Rai, we went up to Mai Sai, to cross the Burmese border:
I didn't actually go into Burma (Mynamar), but shopped in the market on the other side. Burma is apparently famous for their jewels, and off on one of the side roads, we found a whole bunch of shops that had rubies and amethyst, and sapphires sitting in bowls, or on counters or tables. It was weird seeing so many of them, because they seem so rare and expensive in the States:
While we were in Chaing Rai, we taught English at Chaing Rai Vocational College- Monday through Thursday, from 8-12:30. In the evenings we went to the Night Markets, the mall, to delicious restaurants, etc.
One of the afternoons, we went to some villages, with people from the Karen Longneck tribes, the Akha hill tribes, and a couple others:
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| I'm not quite sure why it didn't save the one I cropped... but now you know what Barb and Mark's shoulder looks like ) |
We spent almost one week in Chaing Rai, then went down to Chaing Mai. Refer to the map above. In Chaing Mai, went to Ricks, which we found when we were there in September. We also found an amazing American food place called Duke's, which had some of the best chili I have ever eaten. The burger was also fantastic. Some days, you just need that stuff.
Anyway. On Sunday, we jumped in the car and drove to Kohn Kean, in Eastern Thailand. The drive was crazy gorgeous. Check out my Facebook for more pictures, but here is an idea:
This place is extraordinarily beautiful. But it was good to get home. Going to Soi 40 for dinner, sleeping in my own bed, doing laundry myself, having fast internet. It's a good life here.
So we'll just keep swimming.
Thursday, October 27, 2011
No Freaking Out...
Hey there. 2 days in a row! I'm impressing myself.
Except not too much, cause this is just a brief message:
Tomorrow, at 4:30 am, we will be leaving to go North. One team is going South- one to Ranong, and another to Laos. If, at the end of the pre-planned trips, we are not able to return to Bangkok, we will be heading to Chaing Rai, which is up north, until Bangkok is safe to live in again. We still don't expect much water damage here at APSAI, but the effects of the floods are going to be much wider than that. Food and supply chains have been broken, roads and warehouses closed, and transportation might be a mess. Water will be destroying parts of Bangkok, so we are dry, but many other people will be hurting. Please please please be keeping Thailand in your prayers, as well as the government, and Wayne, who is the director of APSAI. He has a lot of people to take care of, and it's hard to know what the next best step is. He is doing a fantastic job at keeping the panic low and the information flow high. But please pray for him, and all of us and we bug out of town :)
Also. Internet may be an issue, so if this is the last post for a while, lets not assume I drowned, yeah?
Except not too much, cause this is just a brief message:
Tomorrow, at 4:30 am, we will be leaving to go North. One team is going South- one to Ranong, and another to Laos. If, at the end of the pre-planned trips, we are not able to return to Bangkok, we will be heading to Chaing Rai, which is up north, until Bangkok is safe to live in again. We still don't expect much water damage here at APSAI, but the effects of the floods are going to be much wider than that. Food and supply chains have been broken, roads and warehouses closed, and transportation might be a mess. Water will be destroying parts of Bangkok, so we are dry, but many other people will be hurting. Please please please be keeping Thailand in your prayers, as well as the government, and Wayne, who is the director of APSAI. He has a lot of people to take care of, and it's hard to know what the next best step is. He is doing a fantastic job at keeping the panic low and the information flow high. But please pray for him, and all of us and we bug out of town :)
Also. Internet may be an issue, so if this is the last post for a while, lets not assume I drowned, yeah?
Wednesday, October 26, 2011
The Current Situation
Hey there! It has been a very busy week, and I have homework to do; so brief recap :)
So in other news; the floods are getting worse, and we're heading out of dodge. They are sending us up North with one of the APSAI teams, which means we get to go to Burma, and Chaing Rai, and Chaing Mai again. If all goes well here while we're going to be back in about a week and a half. If the flooding here does get bad, or food is impossible to get here or anything, we'll just stay up north until it gets better, or until its time to go home. Right now, almost all of the public transportation is shut down- no buses, very few taxis, and the ones that are running are rather spendy.
I have mixed emotions about the trip. I really really don't want to leave Bangkok, cause I love it sooooo much. I've only been to Bangkok City Church once in the past month cause of stuff that's come up, and we haven't had Thai very often for the same reason. We haven't been able to teach in our regular areas cause of being in Cambodia, and flooding issues, and illnesses, so I miss all those little buggers. But at the same time, this is a cool opportunity to go see more of Thailand, and we get another stamp in our passport, which is always fun.
So I wrote on the last post that I had gotten sick; but was getting better... Yeah. On Friday night I started to feel worse, and had a fever and all that fun stuff, so we went to the hospital again. After about 4 hours, it was decided that I had pneumonia, and that the best way to treat it would be 3 rounds of IV Antibiotics. So I got three IV's and on the last day went to see a Pulmonologist. When we got in his office, he told us that I for sure didn't have pneumonia, and that I never needed IV's. Argh. Turns out it was some kind of Bronchitis, that was particularly annoying. So I finished up the oral antibiotics today, and am feeling much much better. Still cough a lot, but I can run up to the 5th floor again without falling over.
So in other news; the floods are getting worse, and we're heading out of dodge. They are sending us up North with one of the APSAI teams, which means we get to go to Burma, and Chaing Rai, and Chaing Mai again. If all goes well here while we're going to be back in about a week and a half. If the flooding here does get bad, or food is impossible to get here or anything, we'll just stay up north until it gets better, or until its time to go home. Right now, almost all of the public transportation is shut down- no buses, very few taxis, and the ones that are running are rather spendy.
I have mixed emotions about the trip. I really really don't want to leave Bangkok, cause I love it sooooo much. I've only been to Bangkok City Church once in the past month cause of stuff that's come up, and we haven't had Thai very often for the same reason. We haven't been able to teach in our regular areas cause of being in Cambodia, and flooding issues, and illnesses, so I miss all those little buggers. But at the same time, this is a cool opportunity to go see more of Thailand, and we get another stamp in our passport, which is always fun.
Oh well. Please Please please please be praying for Thailand. This flood is going to effect life here for months to come- people are losing their lives, their houses, their possessions, their jobs... it's going to take a while to recover from this. Please be praying for the missionaries here to have wisdom with what to do and how to help, and how to share the love of God while these people are looking for answers to why theirs gods didn't save them.
Thanks!
Wednesday, October 19, 2011
Hey!
So, again, it’s been forever since I wrote anything. It’s been a busy week (and a half-ish), and when I opened up my computer it was to write a paper; so this poor little guy has been neglected. Anyway, a quick catch-up;
Over the weekend, there was a lot of fear about flooding in Bangkok; a bad mixture of floods from the North, King’s High Tide, and lots of rain. Flooding happens every year; but this was the biggest in about 50 years. So we were pretty unsure about what we were going to be able to do, and have access to while the water headed out to the ocean. The dams and dikes around inner Bangkok ended up being quite successful, and we didn’t see any abnormal water levels where we are at. However, there was extremely severe flooding around us; hundreds of people died, hundreds of thousands of people lost their homes, and millions lost their livelihoods; industrial parks were destroyed, rice paddies were washed away, and people’s belongings were destroyed. Poverty was already an issue in many of these places; this was a heavy blow to many people. So, please keep the people of Thailand in your prayers; that this could be a turning point in which they discover that their sacrifices to their gods didn’t save them; but there is a God who will save them for eternity.
Because we weren’t sure what our situation would be over the weekend, we didn’t go teach English, which was a bummer; we’ve missed two weeks now with being in Cambodia. But we’ll make sure to get in there this week, if all goes well. Our church, Bangkok City Church, celebrated it’s 7 year anniversary on Sunday, which was so much fun. They had a slideshow with pictures from when they began; the church was started in a coffee shop, where it was just Pii Bai, Pii Wan, and their son for a long time, with people poking in and out every once in a while. Then they rented a small building, outgrew it, got another one; outgrew it, and are now in the church they just moved into. It’s so cool seeing their passions become reality in their community. There were lots of people at church, almost filling all the seats; so cool!
Monday we went out to an Italian restaurant for Leah’s birthday; decent food, great company, and lots of fun. Our week looks pretty calm so far; we have lecture on Thursday, Thai on Friday and Saturday, and ministry over the weekend. It’s so hard to believe that we have been here for 12 weeks already. If we hadn’t extended our trip, we would only have 3 more weeks left! I’m so glad we get to stay; time flies by way too fast.
Alrighty, my computer is dying, so I’m out!
Update:
This was written a few days ago, but I forgot to actually publish it... Whoops.
Anyway, the past few days have been interesting; I got to experience a new kind of cultural system. Somehow, somewhere, I picked up some sort of bacterial infection. I felt weird/bad on Monday, My head and neck started to hurt Tuesday morning, and I got a weird cough, with congestion, even though I haven't had any sinus problems. Then Tuesday night I started to get a fever, and a really bad headache, so we went to the Dr. on Wednesday morning. They gave me 4 different medications, and the headache is gone, thank God. If it didn't go away, then I was definitely going to be forced to poke a hole in my head to relive the pressure. Anyway. Prayers would be appreciated, but I'm not going to die. Thanks!
Wednesday, October 12, 2011
Cambodia Day 1.
Okay. So I'm finally getting to this. I didn't mean to put it off this long, but life is a little crazy. But first: a quick flood update. The water is expected to be here in about 4 hours; it is water that has washed through the majority of Northern Thailand; overwhelmed sewage plants, flooded chemical plants, and washed through contaminated areas. Unfortunately, the result of this means that the water not only holds nasty stuff, it is fairly unhealthy to be living in. So please pray for people as the water comes in, and invades their neighborhoods.
Cambodia. Okay.
So we landed in Phnom Penh at about 10 in the morning. After we unloaded our stuff at Ken's house, we got in the car, and headed downtown Phnom Penh. In the center of the city, there is a compound that was once used as a high school. A little bit of history will help this make more sense. Just remember high school. The Khmer Rouge was a result of a coup that led to Cambodian Communists being in power. Pol Pot and his associates had trained and been educated in France, but adapted China's version of Communism, with one goal in mind; to go back to Year 0. They thought that the world was messed up because of technology, education, and people not settling for what they had. Cambodian politics were filled with corruption; those who were rich were dirty rich, and those who were poor were living in unbelievable poverty. The rich treated the poor people horribly; in the young Communists mind, they had the solution for this massive problem.They would rid the country, and eventually the world of rich and poor, of technologically advanced, and of education that led to more power. Everyone would be a rice farmer, work for their living, and everything would be equal and good. Sounds somewhat ideal when you look at it from their point of view. However, the way they went about this "great plan" was atrocious. First, they rid the city, and the country of technology. They got rid of clocks, telephones, cars; anything that wasn't from there at the beginning of earth was unnecessary. They told the people living in the cities that Americans were on their way to drop bombs on the cities, and had them evacuate the cities. They arrested rich people, educated people, and anyone who they considered a threat. And here is where the High School in Phnom Penh came in. The S21 center was a place where they brought people to be tortured, and then brought to be killed. They started with people who were educated; Doctors, Teachers, Artists, Politicians, Clergy. They brought them to Teul Sleng, the High School, and they tortured them; demanding names of other people, demanding confessions for things that never happened, anything. After they got what they wanted, they brought the people to the Killing Field, an old Chinese burial site, where they chained everyone together by their hands, blindfolded them, and smacked them on the head with a tool. If the blow didn't kill them, they slit their throat, and tossed the string of bodies into a ditch in the ground. More on the Killing Field later.
At S21, also known as Teul Sleng, there were 4 buildings. When the Vietnamese came in and stopped the Khmer Rouge, they preserved the site exactly how they found it. When they got there, there were 14 bodies that hadn't been disposed of, one a girl. They put the bodies in concrete graves above ground as a memorial, and opened up the site as a historical site. The first building was three stories high. The first two stories had rooms; each with one window, one bed, and some type of torture tool. The beds didn't have mattresses; they were just iron frames with metal strips woven together to support a body. Some had iron crowbars on the bed, some buckets that used to hold water, and some with ammo containers. These rooms were for the more "important" people; high officials, particularly smart professors, etc. They were tortured in the rooms, then brought to the third building, which was also three stories. Most people didn't stay in S21 for more than a few days. If you were important enough for your own room for being tortured, you were important enough for a four foot by three foot room to spend the night in by yourself. The third floor of each building were used for less important people; they lived, tortured, and killed in groups.
Sorry if this is too gory. It's hard to even imagine that this possibly happened; try walking through, and realizing that these people that are buried in mass graves outside the city, with their bones poking out of the ground, would likely still be alive today with kids and grand kids if this hadn't occurred. This was only 30 years ago.
The bottom floors of the 2nd and 3rd buildings were filled with pictures. Each person brought in to S21 was given a number, and had a picture taken with their number. There were men, women, teenagers, kids, and babies brought through that place; each with a picture memorializing their life. You are walking through huge rooms with hundreds and hundreds of pictures filling each, staring into their eyes, wondering what they were thinking. Some of their eyes were blank; they had seen too much, knew it was hopeless, and were simply waiting to die. Some, particularly the kids, looked scared; they had been ripped away from their home, their family, and now were in a place no person should ever walk through. Some of them looked defiant; teenage boys with their chins high, and their eyes hard. The ones that broke my heart the most were the ones who were smiling. They couldn't have had any idea how they were about to spend the last days of their lives. It was a picture! You say "cheese", right? The last pictures were accidents; they had tortured them too much, and didn't yield a confession; the victim had died in the torture room; the torturers had to prove that they hadn't escaped.
Another room gave you an idea of how they were tortured.... I won't get into that here. Let me just say that there are images burned into my head that will never ever leave.
We walked through the torture rooms first; the first room I walked into made me numb, and that feeling didn't leave until the next day. It's impossible to reconcile the fact that humans can do this to each other in my mind. How can one person do such a thing to another person?
On Sunday we went to the Killing Fields. I had been dreading this since I heard that we were going. I don't like dead things; I didn't want to see bones and teeth all over the place, and at that point, I didn't want to think about it any more. But it wasn't as horrible as I thought it was going to be.
In fact, it was somewhat peaceful. There was grass, and trees, and flowers, and butterflies, and birds, and animals. The hardest part was looking at the ground. Every once in a while, there would be a bone sticking out of the ground. Rain and time was washing away the dirt thrown over the victims, and clothing was surfacing. There was a lot of plaid fabric peeking through the grass and the dirt.
There were two trees in the vicinity that had particular impact. The first one looked over a small creek type of thing- next to it was once a pit. To save bullets, the soldiers would grab the babies and small children by the legs, and swing them against the tree, smashing their heads, and then toss them in the pit.
The second one was what finally brought the tears- for a somewhat dumb reason.
The tree wasn't used to kill people. The only thing it did was hold a loudspeaker. They soldiers would play loud sounds or music to cover the sounds of the moaning and screams as people died. Why bother? Everyone knew they were dying! There was no one in the vicinity that would care; no one that wasn't participating themselves in the murder of thousands. Why bother? If you're going to do that; man up. Listen to it. Let the impact of your decisions be heard; let it be seen.
So that was the hard part of our trip. It raises a lot of questions. In the beginning of the week, my question was why? Why would people do this to other people? What could possibly justify these actions to anyone? How can people live with themselves knowing that they participated in these actions?
The biggest thing I struggled though was with this: There are men, some of whom are still alive, that intentionally made the decision to do this. They forced other people, including small children, to do this to their relatives, neighbors, and fellow countrymen. Yet, if they asked, God would wipe their slated clean. Even though He hates their actions, God still loves them. He loves Pol Pot. He loves the Second Brother. Just as much as He loves me.
How is that fair?
So I prayed about it. I read, I prayed, I thought, and I talked about it. And finally, God got tired of my ranting. The conclusion that came to me was this. If God refused to grant these evil men His forgiveness, His grace and mercy, and the life of His Son, would be cheapened. It would mean that we can earn His love, His mercy, His forgiveness. If horrific actions mean that we don't get forgiveness, then that means that we have the power to earn forgiveness. If we can earn God's mercy, then we don't need Jesus to have died for us. It has to be all or nothing. We need to live our lives glorifying God; not condoning murdering an entire population. But at the end of the day; we've sinned. Each and every one of us have sinned. I have screwed up. But Jesus did come to earth. He did die. He died as much for me, as He did for Pol Pot, Hitler, and Genghis Khan. He died as much for them as He died for Mother Teresa, and Martin Luther, and for George O. Wood. We can't buy His love, or his forgiveness any more than I can buy a Ferrari. It's impossible, which makes it all the more valuable.
Cambodia. Okay.
So we landed in Phnom Penh at about 10 in the morning. After we unloaded our stuff at Ken's house, we got in the car, and headed downtown Phnom Penh. In the center of the city, there is a compound that was once used as a high school. A little bit of history will help this make more sense. Just remember high school. The Khmer Rouge was a result of a coup that led to Cambodian Communists being in power. Pol Pot and his associates had trained and been educated in France, but adapted China's version of Communism, with one goal in mind; to go back to Year 0. They thought that the world was messed up because of technology, education, and people not settling for what they had. Cambodian politics were filled with corruption; those who were rich were dirty rich, and those who were poor were living in unbelievable poverty. The rich treated the poor people horribly; in the young Communists mind, they had the solution for this massive problem.They would rid the country, and eventually the world of rich and poor, of technologically advanced, and of education that led to more power. Everyone would be a rice farmer, work for their living, and everything would be equal and good. Sounds somewhat ideal when you look at it from their point of view. However, the way they went about this "great plan" was atrocious. First, they rid the city, and the country of technology. They got rid of clocks, telephones, cars; anything that wasn't from there at the beginning of earth was unnecessary. They told the people living in the cities that Americans were on their way to drop bombs on the cities, and had them evacuate the cities. They arrested rich people, educated people, and anyone who they considered a threat. And here is where the High School in Phnom Penh came in. The S21 center was a place where they brought people to be tortured, and then brought to be killed. They started with people who were educated; Doctors, Teachers, Artists, Politicians, Clergy. They brought them to Teul Sleng, the High School, and they tortured them; demanding names of other people, demanding confessions for things that never happened, anything. After they got what they wanted, they brought the people to the Killing Field, an old Chinese burial site, where they chained everyone together by their hands, blindfolded them, and smacked them on the head with a tool. If the blow didn't kill them, they slit their throat, and tossed the string of bodies into a ditch in the ground. More on the Killing Field later.
At S21, also known as Teul Sleng, there were 4 buildings. When the Vietnamese came in and stopped the Khmer Rouge, they preserved the site exactly how they found it. When they got there, there were 14 bodies that hadn't been disposed of, one a girl. They put the bodies in concrete graves above ground as a memorial, and opened up the site as a historical site. The first building was three stories high. The first two stories had rooms; each with one window, one bed, and some type of torture tool. The beds didn't have mattresses; they were just iron frames with metal strips woven together to support a body. Some had iron crowbars on the bed, some buckets that used to hold water, and some with ammo containers. These rooms were for the more "important" people; high officials, particularly smart professors, etc. They were tortured in the rooms, then brought to the third building, which was also three stories. Most people didn't stay in S21 for more than a few days. If you were important enough for your own room for being tortured, you were important enough for a four foot by three foot room to spend the night in by yourself. The third floor of each building were used for less important people; they lived, tortured, and killed in groups.
Sorry if this is too gory. It's hard to even imagine that this possibly happened; try walking through, and realizing that these people that are buried in mass graves outside the city, with their bones poking out of the ground, would likely still be alive today with kids and grand kids if this hadn't occurred. This was only 30 years ago.
The bottom floors of the 2nd and 3rd buildings were filled with pictures. Each person brought in to S21 was given a number, and had a picture taken with their number. There were men, women, teenagers, kids, and babies brought through that place; each with a picture memorializing their life. You are walking through huge rooms with hundreds and hundreds of pictures filling each, staring into their eyes, wondering what they were thinking. Some of their eyes were blank; they had seen too much, knew it was hopeless, and were simply waiting to die. Some, particularly the kids, looked scared; they had been ripped away from their home, their family, and now were in a place no person should ever walk through. Some of them looked defiant; teenage boys with their chins high, and their eyes hard. The ones that broke my heart the most were the ones who were smiling. They couldn't have had any idea how they were about to spend the last days of their lives. It was a picture! You say "cheese", right? The last pictures were accidents; they had tortured them too much, and didn't yield a confession; the victim had died in the torture room; the torturers had to prove that they hadn't escaped.
Another room gave you an idea of how they were tortured.... I won't get into that here. Let me just say that there are images burned into my head that will never ever leave.
We walked through the torture rooms first; the first room I walked into made me numb, and that feeling didn't leave until the next day. It's impossible to reconcile the fact that humans can do this to each other in my mind. How can one person do such a thing to another person?
On Sunday we went to the Killing Fields. I had been dreading this since I heard that we were going. I don't like dead things; I didn't want to see bones and teeth all over the place, and at that point, I didn't want to think about it any more. But it wasn't as horrible as I thought it was going to be.
In fact, it was somewhat peaceful. There was grass, and trees, and flowers, and butterflies, and birds, and animals. The hardest part was looking at the ground. Every once in a while, there would be a bone sticking out of the ground. Rain and time was washing away the dirt thrown over the victims, and clothing was surfacing. There was a lot of plaid fabric peeking through the grass and the dirt.
There were two trees in the vicinity that had particular impact. The first one looked over a small creek type of thing- next to it was once a pit. To save bullets, the soldiers would grab the babies and small children by the legs, and swing them against the tree, smashing their heads, and then toss them in the pit.
The second one was what finally brought the tears- for a somewhat dumb reason.
The tree wasn't used to kill people. The only thing it did was hold a loudspeaker. They soldiers would play loud sounds or music to cover the sounds of the moaning and screams as people died. Why bother? Everyone knew they were dying! There was no one in the vicinity that would care; no one that wasn't participating themselves in the murder of thousands. Why bother? If you're going to do that; man up. Listen to it. Let the impact of your decisions be heard; let it be seen.
So that was the hard part of our trip. It raises a lot of questions. In the beginning of the week, my question was why? Why would people do this to other people? What could possibly justify these actions to anyone? How can people live with themselves knowing that they participated in these actions?
The biggest thing I struggled though was with this: There are men, some of whom are still alive, that intentionally made the decision to do this. They forced other people, including small children, to do this to their relatives, neighbors, and fellow countrymen. Yet, if they asked, God would wipe their slated clean. Even though He hates their actions, God still loves them. He loves Pol Pot. He loves the Second Brother. Just as much as He loves me.
How is that fair?
So I prayed about it. I read, I prayed, I thought, and I talked about it. And finally, God got tired of my ranting. The conclusion that came to me was this. If God refused to grant these evil men His forgiveness, His grace and mercy, and the life of His Son, would be cheapened. It would mean that we can earn His love, His mercy, His forgiveness. If horrific actions mean that we don't get forgiveness, then that means that we have the power to earn forgiveness. If we can earn God's mercy, then we don't need Jesus to have died for us. It has to be all or nothing. We need to live our lives glorifying God; not condoning murdering an entire population. But at the end of the day; we've sinned. Each and every one of us have sinned. I have screwed up. But Jesus did come to earth. He did die. He died as much for me, as He did for Pol Pot, Hitler, and Genghis Khan. He died as much for them as He died for Mother Teresa, and Martin Luther, and for George O. Wood. We can't buy His love, or his forgiveness any more than I can buy a Ferrari. It's impossible, which makes it all the more valuable.
Monday, October 10, 2011
Thailand and Intro to Cambodia
Hey there! So we were in Cambodia for the past 5 days without internet access, with tons of stuff happening, so it's going to take a while to get everything out from the trip. Because of Cambodia's recent history, there was a lot of stuff that we saw that is heartbreaking- and I'm not quite sure how much to say on here. Anyway; we saw a lot; we thought a lot; and I think all three of us have a lot to say. A lot of questions. This is just my views, and what I saw; you can take it or leave it.
But first; Thailand! It is becoming top news on international news stations that Thailand is experiencing huge floods, and people are dying, and it is super dangerous here. Media, of course, exaggerates and/or misses stuff, so I just wanted to let you know what is happening, and what is really of concern. First of all; there are floods every year. Thailand has three seasons: Hot Season, Rainy Season, and Cold Season. Right now we are at the end of Rainy Season, moving into Cold Season. We get tons of rain, the ground gets saturated, and cannot hold anymore water; thus it builds up. The problem this year is that it is a lot of things occurring at once that is making it particularly bad. First, the rains were particularly heavy this year. Second, as the water rolls through the country, it is supposed to reach Bangkok in the next day or two. Third, the majority of Bangkok is below sea level, and sinking. In the next few days, the tides will be at their highest, which means the water has nowhere to go. The news is reporting that people are dying; this is true. Personally, we aren't in any danger. But the people surrounding us are. Clean water is going to run out, food is going to be hard to find, and diseases from the water are going to be the biggest problems immediately after the water recedes. Later on, mosquitoes are going to have many many many places to breed, and they can carry disease as well. So please pray for resources to help people, people to help people, and God's love to be present throughout this. And for news on the flooding, you can go to the Bangkok Post. It's in English, and is a very good source of information for Thailand. So yeah. Don't worry; just pray.
Okay; so Cambodia. Cambodia was difficult for me. It was difficult emotionally dealing with the extreme poverty. It was difficult physically. It was difficult mentally trying to absorb the amount of horror that could be done by humans. Unless you have been in a country as poor as this one, you can't possibly understand what it means. I thought people in Mexico were poor; but where we went, they were doing better than people in slums in Bangkok. That became the new "poverty" to me until we saw villages outside of Bangkok. But even that didn't compare to Cambodia. So emotionally, on that level, that was hard. Physically, which seems so petty after seeing how other people live, was hard too on some levels. Okay; spoiled American coming out right now. There was no air conditioning, and it was a little hotter there, so it was hard to stay hydrated and comfortable. There was no hot water for showers, and it took a couple of days to get used to the food. Mentally... oh boy. I think that the best way to do this is to just write one day at a time and kind of let the story develop like it did for me, one day at a time.
Tomorrow. Or later today. Bye :)
But first; Thailand! It is becoming top news on international news stations that Thailand is experiencing huge floods, and people are dying, and it is super dangerous here. Media, of course, exaggerates and/or misses stuff, so I just wanted to let you know what is happening, and what is really of concern. First of all; there are floods every year. Thailand has three seasons: Hot Season, Rainy Season, and Cold Season. Right now we are at the end of Rainy Season, moving into Cold Season. We get tons of rain, the ground gets saturated, and cannot hold anymore water; thus it builds up. The problem this year is that it is a lot of things occurring at once that is making it particularly bad. First, the rains were particularly heavy this year. Second, as the water rolls through the country, it is supposed to reach Bangkok in the next day or two. Third, the majority of Bangkok is below sea level, and sinking. In the next few days, the tides will be at their highest, which means the water has nowhere to go. The news is reporting that people are dying; this is true. Personally, we aren't in any danger. But the people surrounding us are. Clean water is going to run out, food is going to be hard to find, and diseases from the water are going to be the biggest problems immediately after the water recedes. Later on, mosquitoes are going to have many many many places to breed, and they can carry disease as well. So please pray for resources to help people, people to help people, and God's love to be present throughout this. And for news on the flooding, you can go to the Bangkok Post. It's in English, and is a very good source of information for Thailand. So yeah. Don't worry; just pray.
Okay; so Cambodia. Cambodia was difficult for me. It was difficult emotionally dealing with the extreme poverty. It was difficult physically. It was difficult mentally trying to absorb the amount of horror that could be done by humans. Unless you have been in a country as poor as this one, you can't possibly understand what it means. I thought people in Mexico were poor; but where we went, they were doing better than people in slums in Bangkok. That became the new "poverty" to me until we saw villages outside of Bangkok. But even that didn't compare to Cambodia. So emotionally, on that level, that was hard. Physically, which seems so petty after seeing how other people live, was hard too on some levels. Okay; spoiled American coming out right now. There was no air conditioning, and it was a little hotter there, so it was hard to stay hydrated and comfortable. There was no hot water for showers, and it took a couple of days to get used to the food. Mentally... oh boy. I think that the best way to do this is to just write one day at a time and kind of let the story develop like it did for me, one day at a time.
Tomorrow. Or later today. Bye :)
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